An interpersonal conflict
An interpersonal conflict can arise at any corners of the world. The only difference lies in whether there is a solution to it or will it result in a formation of a long term war. In this post, I am going to share an interpersonal conflict that I have experienced and would like all my readers to provide me with some suggestions.
It happened around December last year, when I was appointed to organize an annual children camp with Quan. We are both volunteers that are under the Youth Executive Committee and I have known him since secondary school. We are very good friends in private and will often hang out together with our friends. As we were under different subgroups within the committee, we seldom have the chance to work together. This Children Camp was the first event that we will be working together on and it was a challenge for the both of us as we have different working styles.
When we were planning the event with the rest of our Children Camp committee, our views and opinions often could not be met. I am more of a perfectionist and I would go into the details of the camp program to make sure that everything goes smoothly on the day of the camp. Quan on the other hand, likes to do things last minute when the event is drawing near.
Despite being the heads of the event, this difference sours our partnership. This problem went on for two months and things finally blew off on the day before the camp. We were supposed to meet for a final check of the event when he suddenly threw his temper at me and stomped off, leaving me puzzled and frustrated behind.
If you were in my position, what would you do, especially when the next day would be the camp and the two of you have to be in control of a total of 40 volunteers and 150 children participants?
posted by Zoelyn Teo @ 6:47 AM
5 Comments
5 Comments:
Thank you for this interesting scenario, Zoelyn. I won't comment on the content since that is the job of your group members. (Where are they?)
I will say that you need to look at your post in terms of language use, especially verb tense use. You can edit this, perhaps before others comment.
Thank you for your effort.
p.s. You may ant to send an SOS to your buddies asking them for feedback.
Here's the response to the SOS. (I don't know about the rest, I was staying overnight in the lab, taking hourly photos of cells dying.)
That's a scary and somewhat irresponsible reaction from that guy! I guess more information regarding how your differences led to the temper is needed before we can give substantial advice, but here's my attempt anyway.
First of all, CALM DOWN. (Capitalized for emphasis). Take a deep breath. Think about what has been said and done. Put your emotions aside for now. Reflect on what has happened and be rational for now. I know it is hard, but it is necessary.
After that, get him back. Talk to him, and instead of finding faults, ask him how he felt. Understand his side of the story. Perhaps you might want to share your feelings after that. Hopefully both of you can understand each other, and perhaps can laugh this off as a joke.
Hopefully by then the two of you can put your heads together to prepare for the big event on the next day. :)
That's what I would do.
Hey!
To say truthfully, I am rather appalled by the unprofessionalism displayed by your coworker, especially in such a crucial time like this. And to add, the generalisation that men are cool headed, rational creatures while women are the emotional ones who are incapable of keeping their emotions in check, is totally flawed. (grin)
Okay but to put all judgements aside, I believe that it it is imperative that each party try to look at the problem from the other party's point of view and create a constructive solution from it,one that satisfies both parties. I think that it is especially hard to come to a decision if both parties are strong headed and are not willing to give in to the other's demands, so it is important that you compromise and accomodate to the wants of the other party.
Hopefully, the conflict can be changed into a positive force, just as the motto goes " two heads are better than one"
=)
The show has to go on no matter what happens between the both of you! Hence, since he left so irresponsibly, I think you will probably have to do the final check yourself first and ensure every logistics to manpower are accounted for.
After that, I think you have to get him back for the camp. Since both of you are leading the team, both of you will have to resolve your differences fast and come to a compromise if not the morale of your team will be affected. If time permits, I suggest you could understand why he insisted on certain things and explain why you prefer otherwise. In fact, this should be done when you realized the problem in the initial stage. It is always better to tackle the issue before it becomes worse! However if he still does not listen, you need to remind him firmly of his role, the team he is leading and the responsibilities that comes with it. Be professional, put aside personal grudges first?
Hey,
Sorry for the late response, was held up with so much school work(which I believe ALL of us do!!!)
Well, after that day he walked off, we did not contact each other for the entire day(I was taking it like a cooling down process).
The following day we both turned up at the campsite but none of us mention anything about what happen the day before. Throughout the camp, we divided our job scope in the sense that we both took charge of different parts of the camp schedule. In addition, we each got an assistant to help us do errands or pass down messages throughout the camp. Things went on well throughout the camp even though we did not directly communicate with each other, we got our assistant to be the middleman.
After the camp, I approach him as I was curious to know why he had reacted in such a way the day before the camp. He said he had reacted in that way because he was feeling too stressed out anf also due to lack of sleep. We thrash out everything that day and now we are back to normal. Even though he did not apologized to me for shouting at me that day, I could feel that he was apologetic that day. Perhaps, he couldn’t bring down his pride as a guy to apologized but no matter what, I am happy that we are still good friends.
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